Miscellany

Just some things that could be Googleable for fun, for limited definitions of “fun”.

My post-rationalisation for this is that when testing fountain pens and inks, it’s good to have things to write. Pangrams are traditional, but I really just tend to write “unilluminating minimum aluminium”. The stuff that the NASA press officers say to commemorate rocket launches are hilarious for a cynic like me. And the lyrics to “Prisencolinensinainciusol” is something I’ve tried several times to write out neatly… one day I’ll do it.

Pangrams

  • Ugh. False equivalence makes my bile ooze with extreme prejudice

  • Queen Elizabeth intoxicatedly vowed, “Mick Jagger is perfect!”

  • Just a few expectorant lozenges quickly abbreviated my cough.

  • Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson’s political views quickly begat sleaze

  • Eliza’s vacant quim engorged Alexander Hamilton’s beef jerky weapon (NSFW, but true.)

Movie Haiku

  • I dreamed a dream where
    Crowe could sing! When Oscar nods
    required good acting.

  • Corningstone Lady:
    Stay Classy, Whale’s Vagina.
    Scotchy scotch scotch scotch.

  • Fantasy Bromance;
    Shit, even the trees walk here.
    Cash-for-Gold.com.

  • “You’re not my father.”
    “I have a bad feeling about…”
    hey, this script sucks ass!

  • White Messiah Complex:
    Just “Pocahontas In Space”.
    Why do they have tits?

  • Life affirming? No.
    Make me believe in God? No.
    Tiger In Boat? Yes.

  • View of the future:
    Leeloo Dallas Multipass.
    Need a toupee, Bruce.

  • Slimer was John Belushi.
    The Traveller has come: Choose.
    Who You Gonna Call?

  • Austrian biker
    Oozi nein-millimeeturgh
    Where’s Sarah Connor?

  • Needs of the many
    Outweigh the needs of the few.
    Or the one. Spock! KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

  • Greed is Good. Greed works.
    Blue Horseshoe loves Anacott Steel.
    Bud’s got tiger blood.

  • Gotham in crisis
    Hathaway’s ass is massive
    More silly voices

  • Remake Quantum Leap,
    on a train with bombs and shit.
    Add some Groundhog Day.

  • Tim Curry in drag
    will fake an organism
    with Brad and Janet

NASA Launch Platitudes

Progress MS-09 (9 July 2018)

  • “We have liftoff of the Progress resupply ship; heading into the Express Lane bound for the International Space Station.”

Insight (5 May 2018)

  • “Liftoff of the Atlas V launching the first interplanetary mission from the West Coast; and NASA’s Insight, the first outer-space robotic explorer to study the interior of Mars.”

GOES-S / GOES-17 (1 March 2018)

  • “Liftoff of the Atlas V and NOAA’s GOES-S: a highly sophisticated weather-watching eye in the sky to join its twin in providing better forecasts and saving lives.”

Cygnus OA-7 (18 April 2017)

  • “Liftoff of the Atlas V rocket with Cygnus and the S.S. John Glenn: extending the research legacy for living and working in space.”

EFT-1 (5 December 2014)

  • “Liftoff at dawn: the DAWN OF ORION and a new era in American space exploration!”

MAVEN (18 November 2013)

  • “Liftoff of the Atlas V with MAVEN; looking for clues about the evolution of Mars through its atmosphere.”

MSL/Curiosity (26 November 2011)

  • “Liftoff of the Atlas V with Curiosity seeking clues to the planetary puzzle about life on Mars.”

GRAIL (10 September 2011)

  • “Liftoff of the Delta 2 with GRAIL; on a journey to the center of the Moon”
    (!)

Juno (5 August 2011)

  • “Liftoff of the Atlas V with Juno; on a trek to Jupiter, a planetary piece of the puzzle on the beginning of our solar system.”

STS-135 (8 July 2011)

  • “The final liftoff of Atlantis on the shoulders of the space shuttle; America will continue the dream. … The Space Shuttle spreads its wings one final time for the start of a sentimental journey into history.”

STS-134 (16 May 2011)

  • “Liftoff for the final launch of Endeavour! Expanding our knowledge; expanding our lives in space.”

STS-133 (24 February 2011)

  • “The final liftoff of Discovery; a tribute to the dedication, hard work and pride of America’s Space Shuttle team.”

STS-132 (14 May 2010)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Atlantis; reaching the crest of its historic achievements in space.”

STS-131 (5 April 2010)

  • “Liftoff of Discovery; blazing a trail to scientific discoveries aboard Space Station.”

STS-130 (8 February 2010)

  • “Liftoff of Shuttle Endeavour with NASA’s final space station crew compartment to bring the bay window view to our celestial backyard.”

STS-129 (16 November 2009)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Atlantis; a mission to build, resupply and to do research on the International Space Station.”

Ares I-X (28 October 2009)

  • “Liftoff of Ares 1-X, testing concepts for the future of new rocket design.”
    (First and only launch of $230bn Constellation program. Wrecked the pad infrastructure.)

STS-128 (28 August 2009)

  • “Liftoff of Discovery; celebrating its 25th birthday by racking up science and supplies to the space station.”

STS-127 (15 July 2009)

  • “Liftoff of Endeavour; completing Kibo and fulfilling Japan’s hope for an out-of-this-world space laboratory”

STS-125 (11 May 2009)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Atlantis; the final mission to enhance the vision of Hubble into the deepest grandeur of our universe.”

STS-119 (15 March 2009)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Discovery; taking the Space Station to full power for FULL SCIENCE!”

Kepler (7 March 2009)

  • “Liftoff of the Delta 2 rocket with Kepler; on a search for planets in some way like our own.”

STS-126 (14 November 2008)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Endeavour; preparing our home in space for a larger, international family.”

STS-124 (31 May 2008)

  • “Liftoff of Shuttle Discovery; Ganbatte kudasai – best of luck to the International Space Station’s newest laboratory!”

STS-123 (11 March 2008)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Endeavour; going where East and West do meet at the International Space Station.”

STS-122 (7 February 2008)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Atlantis as Columbus sets sail on a voyage of science to the space station.”

STS-120 (23 October 2007)

  • “Liftoff of Discovery; hoisting Harmony to the heavens and opening new gateways for international science.”

STS-118 (8 August 2007)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Endeavour; expanding the International Space Station while creating a classroom in space.”

STS-117 (8 June 2007)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Atlantis; to assemble the framework for the science laboratories of tomorrow!”

STS-116 (9 December 2006)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Discovery; lighting up the night sky as we continue building the International Space Station.”

STS-115 (9 September 2006)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Atlantis; opening a new chapter in the completion of the International Space Station for the collaboration of nations in space.”

STS-121 (4 July 2006)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Discovery; returning to the Space Station – paving the way for future missions and beyond.”

STS-114 (26 July 2005)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Discovery; beginning America’s new journey to the Moon, Mars, and beyond.”

Opportunity (8 July 2003)

  • “Liftoff of the Delta rocket with Opportunity; a chance to explore and unlock the secrets of our neighbouring planet.”

Spirit (10 June 2003)

  • “Liftoff of the Delta 2 carrying the Spirit from Earth to Planet Mars.”

STS-107 (16 January 2003)

  • “Liftoff of Columbia with a multitude of national and international science experiments.”

STS-113 (24 November 2002)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Endeavour; another building block for the foundation of the International Space Station.”

STS-112 (7 October 2002)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Columbia; with a multitude of national and international space research experiments.”

STS-111 (5 June 2002)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Endeavour; extending our reach while expanding our research in space.”

STS-110 (8 April 2002)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Atlantis; setting in place the keystone to the Space Station’s backbone.”

STS-109 (1 March 2002)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Columbia; to broaden our view of the universe through the Hubble Space Telescope.”

STS-108 (5 December 2001)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Endeavour; pushing our goals skyward using our station in space.”

STS-105 (10 August 2001)

  • “Liftoff of Discovery, carrying the third crew of astronaut residents to the International Space Station.”

STS-104 (12 July 2001)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Atlantis; launching a door to partnerships in space.”

STS-100 (19 April 2001)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Endeavour; extending the reach of the space station while extending partnerships above the Earth.”

Mars Odyssey (7 April 2001)

  • “Liftoff of a Delta 2 rocket carrying NASA on an Odyssey back to Mars.”

STS-102 (8 March 2001)

  • “Liftoff of Discovery, and a team of explorers shaping their destiny.”

STS-98 (7 February 2001)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Atlantis with Destiny, a science laboratory for the 21st Century.”

STS-97 (30 November 2000)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Endeavour; providing power to the station as we continue to build our future in space.”

STS-92 (11 October 2000)

  • “Liftoff of Discovery; making Shuttle history and building our future in space.”

STS-106 (8 September 2000)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Atlantis; opening the door to a permanent human presence in space.”

STS-101 (19 May 2000)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Atlantis, a space shuttle for the 21st Century.”

STS-99 (11 February 2000)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Endeavour, on a 21st Century mission placing Earth back on the map!”
    (Launched in Feb 2000 – the 20th Century, with an interesting concept of how maps work)

STS-103 (19 December 1999)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Discovery; our mission to repair the Hubble Space Telescope as we venture into the 21st Century.”

STS-93 (23 July 1999)

  • “Liftoff of Columbia; reaching new heights for women and X-ray astronomy”

STS-96 (27 May 1999)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Discovery; the first mission to dock with the International Space Station.”

STS-88 (4 December 1998)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Endeavour; with the first American element of the International Space Station uniting our efforts in space to achieve our common goals.”

STS-95 (29 October 1998)

  • “Liftoff of Discovery with six astronaut heroes and one American legend.”

STS-91 (2 June 1998)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Discovery as NASA embarks on the final mission to dock with Russia’s Space Station Mir.”

STS-90 (17 April 1998)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Columbia on a mission expanding our knowledge and understanding of the human nervous system.”

STS-89 (22 January 1998)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Endeavour; continuing the union of U.S. and Russian space endeavors.”

STS-87 (19 November 1997)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Columbia on a mission combining science and the practical aspects of space.”

STS-86 (25 September 1997)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Atlantis; extending America’s presence in space while opening new chapters in exploration.”

STS-85 (7 August 1997)

  • “Liftoff of Discovery on a mission to study Planet Earth.”

STS-94 (1 July 1997)

  • “Liftoff of Columbia with a microgravity science laboratory; a research bridge to the International Space Station.”

STS-84 (15 May 1997)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Atlantis; maintaining America’s constant presence in space.”

STS-83 (4 April 1997)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Columbia with the microgravity science laboratory, our research bridge to the space benefits of tomorrow.”

STS-82 (11 February 1997)

  • “Liftoff; Discovery now on its way to service NASA’s Hubble Space Telescope.”

STS-81 (12 January 1997)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Atlantis; on a Tuesday mission to dock with Russia’s orbiting outpost.”

STS-80 (19 November 1996)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Columbia; on a diversified mission of astronomy and commercial space research.”

STS-79 (16 September 1996)

  • “Liftoff of Atlantis; on the fourth flight to dock with the Russian Space Station.”

STS-78 (20 June 1996)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Columbia; on an international life science and microgravity mission.”

STS-77 (19 May 1996)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Endeavour; to develop the practical and the beneficial aspects of space.”

STS-76 (22 March 1996)

  • “Liftoff of Atlantis; on the third Shuttle-Mir docking flight.”

STS-75 (22 February 1996)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Columbia; continuing space research through tether satellite technology.”

STS-72 (11 January 1996)

  • “Liftoff of Endeavour; in pursuit of a Japanese satellite.”

STS-74 (12 November 1995)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Atlantis with the Russian Docking Module; a threshold for world cooperation in space.”

STS-73 (20 October 1995)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Columbia; catapulting scientific knowledge through microgravity research.”

STS-69 (7 September 1995)

  • “Liftoff of Endeavour; on the 71st flight of the Space Shuttle on a multifaceted mission.”

STS-70 (13 July 1995)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Discovery; to complete NASA’s constellation of tracking stations in the sky.”

STS-71 (27 June 1995)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Atlantis; on a mission that will herald a new day of international cooperation in space.”

STS-67 (2 March 1995)

  • “Liftoff of Endeavour; on a voyage to view the universe.”

STS-63 (3 February 1995)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Discovery; on a mission to prepare for the next era of world cooperation in space.”

STS-66 (3 November 1994)

  • “Liftoff of Atlantis; on a mission to study Planet Earth.”

STS-68 (30 September 1994)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Endeavour; on a mission to study the Earth’s ever-changing environment.”

STS-64 (9 September 1994)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Discovery; developing new techniques to monitor our Earth’s environment from space.”

STS-65 (8 July 1994)

  • “Liftoff of Columbia on a multi-nation research flight.”

STS-59 (9 April 1994)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Endeavour; observing the changes of Planet Earth.”

STS-62 (4 March 1994)

  • “Liftoff of Space Shuttle Columbia, as NASA continues on the cutting-edge of microgravity research.”

STS-60 (3 February 1994)

  • “Liftoff of Discovery; on a bold new era of spaceflight between the United States and Russia.”

STS-61 (30 October 1985)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Endeavour; on an ambitious mission to service the Hubble Space Telescope.”

STS-58 (18 October 1993)

  • “Liftoff of Columbia on a life-sciences mission for Earth and space.”

STS-51 (8 November 1984)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Discovery; launching the next generation of communication satellite technology.”

STS-57 (21 June 1993)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Endeavour; on the first Spacehab mission and the retrieval of the Eureka spacecraft.”

STS-55 (26 April 1993)

  • “Liftoff of Columbia on a voyage to the future.”
    (at 88 miles per hour?)

STS-56 (8 April 1993)

  • “Liftoff of Discovery; on the second mission to Planet Earth research flight.”

STS-54 (13 January 1993)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Endeavour, with NASA’s newest tracking station in the sky.”

STS-53 (2 December 1992)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Discovery on a seven-day mission for the Department of Defense.”

STS-52 (22 October 1992)

  • “Liftoff of Columbia; on an ambitious 10-day international research flight.”

STS-47 (12 September 1992)

  • “Liftoff of Endeavour; on America’s fiftieth Space Shuttle flight.”

STS-46 (31 July 1992)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Atlantis; on a mission for new utility in space.”

STS-50 (25 June 1992)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Columbia and the first extended duration mission: a stepping stone to Space Station Freedom.”

STS-49 (7 May 1992)

  • “Liftoff of the maiden voyage of Endeavour; on a satellite rescue mission.”

STS-45 (24 March 1992)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Atlantis; on a mission to Planet Earth.”
    (You’d hope…)

STS-42 (22 January 1992)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Discovery, and the first international microgravity laboratory.”

STS-44 (24 November 1991)

  • “Liftoff of Atlantis, and the six-man crew in a Department of Defense flight”

STS-48 (12 September 1991)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Discovery, and the upper-atmosphere research satellite: a new era of studying the Earth’s atmosphere from space.”

STS-43 (2 August 1991)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Atlantis; on a nine-day mission to deploy the TDRS communication satellite.”

STS-40 (5 June 1991)

  • “Liftoff of Columbia and the first dedicated medical research flight.”

STS-39 (28 April 1991)

  • “Liftoff of Discovery; on a research flight for the Department of Defense.”

STS-37 (5 April 1991)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Atlantis, and the Gamma Ray Observatory: seeking out the explosive forces of the universe.”

STS-35 (2 December 1990)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Columbia, and ASTRO-1 for an insight into the life-cycle of the galaxy.”

STS-38 (15 November 1990)

  • “Liftoff of Atlantis and its crew on a classified Department of Defense flight.”

STS-41 (3 February 1984)

  • “Liftoff of Discovery and the Ulysses spacecraft bound for the polar regions of the sun.”

STS-31 (24 April 1990)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Discovery with the Hubble Space Telescope: our window on the universe.”

STS-36 (28 February 1990)

  • “Liftoff of Atlantis and mission STS-36.”

STS-32 (9 January 1990)

  • “Liftoff of Columbia; a new decade of spaceflight begins.”

STS-33 (22 November 1989)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle Discovery for its Thanksgiving Day mission.”

STS-34 (18 October 1989)

  • “Liftoff of Atlantis and the Galileo spacecraft bound for Jupiter.”

STS-28 (8 August 1989)

  • “Liftoff on Columbia and its return to flight.”

STS-30 (4 May 1989)

  • “A new era of planetary science begins as Atlantis clears the tower.”

STS-29 (13 March 1989)

  • “Liftoff of STS-29 as Discovery clears the tower.”

STS-27 (2 December 1988)

  • “Liftoff: Atlantis begins another space voyage as it clears the tower.”

STS-26 (29 September 1988)

  • “Liftoff: America’s return to space as Discovery clears the tower.”

STS-51-L (28 January 1986)

  • “Liftoff of the 25th Space Shuttle mission and it has cleared the tower.”

STS-61-C (12 January 1986)

  • “Liftoff of Columbia and Mission 61-C and the shuttle has cleared the tower.”

STS-61-B (26 November 1985)

  • “Liftoff of the Space Shuttle, and it has cleared the tower.”

STS-61-A (30 October 1985)

  • “Liftoff of Challenger and the Spacelab D-1 Mission and the shuttle has cleared the tower.”

STS-51-J (3 October 1985)

  • “Liftoff of Atlantis: a new orbiter joins the fleet and it has cleared the tower.”

STS-51-I (27 August 1985)

  • “Liftoff of 51-I and the commercial deploy and repair mission, and it has cleared the tower.”

STS-51-F (29 July 1985)

  • “Liftoff of Challenger and SpaceLab 2. The shuttle has cleared the tower.”

STS-51-G (17 June 1985)

  • “Liftoff of Discovery, and the shuttle has cleared the tower.”

STS-51-B (29 April 1985)

  • “and Challenger and Spacelab 3 is airborne and has cleared the tower.”

STS-51-D (12 April 1985)

  • “Liftoff of Mission 51-D and the seven-member crew of Discovery and the shuttle has cleared the tower.”

STS-51-C (24 January 1985)

  • “Liftoff of Discovery; the first flight totally dedicated to the Department of Defense mission.”

STS-51-A (8 November 1984)

  • “Liftoff of Discovery, and the first flight to retrieve and return satellites from space, and the shuttle has cleared the tower.”

STS-41-G (5 October 1984)

  • “and history’s largest astronaut crew is on its way.”

STS-41-D (30 August 1984)

  • “Liftoff of Mission 41-D and the first flight of the orbiter Discovery, and the shuttle has cleared the tower.”

STS-41-C (6 April 1984)

  • “Liftoff of Challenger and the first flight to repair a satellite in space.”

STS-41-B (3 February 1984)

  • “Liftoff of Challenger and the tenth Space Shuttle flight.”

STS-9 (28 November 1983)

  • “Liftoff of Columbia and the first flight of the European Space Agency’s Spacelab.”

STS-8 (30 August 1983)

  • “Liftoff, 32 minutes after the hour and the shuttle has cleared the tower.”

STS-7 (18 June 1983)

  • “Liftoff of STS-7 and America’s first woman astronaut and the shuttle has cleared the tower.”

STS-6 (4 April 1983)

  • “Liftoff of the orbiter Challenger and the sixth flight of the Space Shuttle.”

STS-5 (11 November 1982)

  • “Liftoff of the first operational Space Shuttle mission with two satellites on board and the shuttle has cleared the tower.”

STS-4 (27 June 1982)

  • “Liftoff of America’s space shuttle on its fourth mission and we have cleared the tower.”

STS-3 (22 March 1982)

  • “Liftoff of a new space shuttle mission. Tower cleared.”
    (Unclear)

STS-2 (12 November 1981)

  • “Liftoff of America’s space shuttle and the space shuttle has cleared the tower.”

STS-1 (12 April 1981)

  • “Liftoff of America’s first space shuttle. And the shuttle has cleared the tower.”

Lyrics to “Prisencolinensinainciusol” by Adriano Celentano

Ye de col mais saiwan,
Prisencolinensinainciusol;
Ol rait!

Oui de seim deshus nau hobil de sei menna,
Holre mebbe debe colobos daim;
Brrrrrr - chez a maind beghin de col,
Bebi de stay yeah pih-jo oh.

Oui de seim deshus nau hobil de sei menna,
Holre mebbe de colobos daim;
Well dis is taim wez yu caw mi steen,
Yo neva tol nuva duz acal bebi luh jen.

You du cubba na jooz no bai fulas jo
Hopa-ho jez kim lap cobolo taim;
Obba divs destain wajuz gobo men,
Gibba jus divun much col dobraidigoh.
Oh sanday!

Ai ai smai senslai,
Eni go so goey piso;
Ai.

Ye de col mais saiwan,
Prisencolinensinainciusol;
Ol rait!

(solo)
Ai ai smine senflecks,
Eni go so goey peso;
Ai.

Prisencolinensinainciusol;
Ol rait!

Wel asinno slippin anigiven asin,
Uh lan a chiz nobojom oh hab a gud taim;
Lev fais go.

We de sien en a seim wela jus a comma ben,
Thez atu atha gize anuttha fow uther gai gustay.

Ai ai smai shenflecks,
Eni herso goey pesa;
Ai.

Ye de col mais saiwan,
Prisencolinensinainciusol;
Ol rait!

Yu deshin nah bil dichi calomando,
Les bebi delas la big niole.

(chorus)
Ai ai smai senfleck,
Eni go so goey piso;
Ai.

Ye de col mais saiwan,
Prisencolinensinainciusol;
Ol rait!

Yu deshin nah bil dichi calomando,
Les bebi delas la big niole.

American Pancake recipe

I tend to measure this easily by weight… put a bowl on the scales, tare the scale (ie. zero it), and then shove stuff in by weight, taring each time.

  • 130g self-raising flour (or plain flour + 2 tsp baking powder)
  • 1/2 tsp salt (~5g)
  • 2 tbsp sugar (~25g)

Stir the dry ingredients a bit now. No need to go wild.

  • 125ml milk (~130g)
  • 1 egg (~70g)
  • 1 tsp Vanilla essence (~10g)

Stir again.

  • 2 tbsp corn oil (35ml, ~32g) Or softened butter, if you can be bothered.

Mix together roughly – don’t worry too much about lumps. We’re not aiming for completely smooth.

Heat a frying pan nice and hot, with a teaspoon of corn oil (ideally) or vegetable oil. A metal platen is even better, as you should have space for bacon, fried eggs, etc. alongside.

Pour out a dollop that should flatten to a saucer-sized disc and fry until top starts to dry out and bubbles cover. Then flip. 30 seconds or so later, it should be done.